For the longest time, I practiced therapy utilizing primarily a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) model. Widely respected, utilized and researched the structural nature of this model really resonated with my “Type A” personality. For those unfamiliar, a very short explanation of CBT is to assist clients in identifying maladaptive thought patterns or “cognitive distortions”, train the client how to reframe these distortions, engage in desired behavioral changes and a shift in overall mood and functioning will occur. Easy, right?
Over the years using this model, I’ve noticed a pattern with many of my clients, especially those with anxiety as their primary clinical issue. While reframing distortions can take clients to a certain point in managing their distressing thoughts and feelings, for many it just wasn’t enough to really contribute to a satisfying shift in overall functioning. The residual thoughts and feelings still created a barrier between the client and the rich meaningful life they desired.
Enter: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.
I was introduced to the Acceptance and Commitment Therapy or ACT (spoken like the word “act”) model a few years ago in a consultation group of therapists I belonged to where we talked about cases and consulted on challenges we faced in our roles as therapists. My colleagues shared how using this model really changed the game for a lot of their clients. I did a little research, and signed up for a training on the approach. Slowly after the training I started implementing elements of the model into my practice and I watched as the lightbulb went off for many of my clients.
Contrary to CBT, rather than resisting and trying to change one’s thoughts and feelings ACT encourages clients to radically accept their existence. What changes is a person’s response to them. Rather than trying to talk yourself out of your anxious thoughts, you instead “unhook” yourself from their grasp and choose to coexist with them. Kind of like the music that is playing at the grocery store while you shop, these thoughts fade into the background and become white noise. They are still there, they still exist, but they no longer dictate what direction you go. Instead, a client identifies and engages in “committed actions” that will move them along their journey toward what they want, desire, and value in their life in the midst of these thoughts and emotions.
For a lot of people the idea of acceptance feels like giving up. And in a way it is. It’s giving up a fight with something bigger than ourselves. Something we may not have the control over we desire. Awhile back I was going through a tough spot in my own life and I heard something on the radio (I said it was awhile back!) that literally stopped my in my tracks. I can’t remember what program I was listening to, but the guest speaker said something I’ve never forgotten- “Acceptance does not equal approval”. This really shifted things for me at the time and I’ve repeatedly shared it over the years with my clients in different contexts. When we accept something it doesn’t have to mean we have to be happy or ok with it. It simply means we choose to stop fighting a battle we aren’t able to win. And when we do that we can redirect that energy into pursuing the things we find meaningful, the things we value and that will bring richness to our lives.
One of the hallmarks of ACT is the pursuit of values which I’ve referenced in this post and will discuss in more detail in a future blog, but until then if you are struggling in finding away to identify and pursue the things you value because of unhelpful thoughts, feelings, disfunction in your relationships or distress at home or work, please don’t hesitate to reach out to see if working with one of our therapists would be a good fit for you!