The last gift of Christmas is barely unwrapped before we start getting inundated with messages about setting resolutions for the new year. Open just about any form of social media and you'll see multiple New Year’s posts about suggestions, tips, tricks and hacks as to how to choose resolutions and maybe more importantly how to keep them. From daily exercise goals, dry January, healthy eating, becoming more organized or getting more sleep these types of messages can make us feel inadequate even though we know that the majority of resolutions aren't kept. Unfortunately, by the time your favorite Instagram content creator has stopped getting their 8 hours of sleep at night that feeling of inadequacy has already been imprinted.
I recently saw a few posts on Tik Tok that actually invited people to wait to create their resolutions until the spring in accordance with Pagan, astrological, and other practices that align more with nature, with spring being the natural time of fresh starts and new beginnings. Maybe it’s not a bad idea to allow oneself to rest during the time nature does.
What I'd like you to consider whether you do it in January or in the spring is to change the approach of resolving to reach a certain goal to identifying more clearly what your values are. Subsequently, once you identify your values you can then identify what committed actions would be in line with those values and move you closer to them. This idea comes from an approach called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy or ACT, and I've been utilizing it a lot more with my clients with good results. It’s more flexible than other approaches and works better for many clients.
The concept of selecting and pursuing values as opposed to goals or resolutions allows a lot more space for making mistakes and occasionally missing the mark. For example, if I set a resolution of eating healthy in the new year and have a day where I indulge in sweet treats I would feel like somehow I’ve failed. However if I identify my value of living a healthier lifestyle then even on a day where I’ve indulged I could still act in accordance with my values by having also exercised that day, taken a walk or eating a salad as one of my meals.
A great resource to help you hone in on your values is the value card sort activity found here but to keep it simple the main value areas are personal growth, relationships, work & education and recreation/ leisure. Identify what the committed actions are toward the pursuit of those values and work on engaging in them in small and consistent ways. For many clients a shift in this mentality allows them to experience more success and offer themselves more compassion along their growth journey.
If you'd like to learn more about this approach or are struggling and feel therapy could be beneficial to you feel free to contact us to get connected with a therapist to assist you.